Monday, January 18, 2010

Long Term Capital mismanagement

This posting is for humor only, not fact.

Several 20th-century Noble Prizes stretch the boundaries of WTF, starting that Prince of Peace Yasser Arafat (we won't mention Henry Kissinger here, of course) to three wall street whiz kids, economists Myron Scholes, Fischer Black and Robert Merton, who came up with the now infamous Black-Scholes Model for Equity, which allowed the geniuses of Wall Street to predict a stock's long-term value based on previous performances and on whether people are betting for or against it sort of like the Google Page Rank Algorithm. In other words, it could predict the stock market. But what the whiz kids forgot was the simple fact of the human species: people are not cold analytical computers. Their firm, Long Term Capital Management. tanked in the 90's and almost sucked down western civilization with it.

But the true outer space Nobel went to two "Being There" clones who were led by "noise" interference from a coating of pigeon shit on the new super-sensitive antenna they built for Bell At&T Telephone Labs in New Jersey to the accidental discovery of cosmic background radiation left over from the Big Bang (image above).

A hilarious Nobel Prize Dickhead Hall of Fame has been compiled by our more creative brothers at who asked themselves how awesome would it be if you accidentally spilled Benadryl into a jar of expired tomato sauce and found the cure for cancer? Or if you fell and discovered a new species of nuclear-powered cockroach staring back at you on the floor?